ManKind Rising Community Guidelines

These guidelines exist not to police behaviour, but to protect something worth protecting; a space where men can be honest, be heard, and do the work together. Please read them before joining the community.

Why this space exists

Most men have never had a space where they could speak honestly, about what's hard, what they've got wrong, what they're afraid of, without it being used against them or met with advice they didn't ask for.

This community is that space. What makes it work isn't the platform or the programme content. It's the quality of presence each man brings to it. These guidelines are an invitation to bring your best.

The five principles we live by here

1. What's shared here, stays here

Confidentiality is the foundation of everything. What another man shares in this community, about his relationship, his struggles, his family, and his fear, belongs to him. It does not leave this space. Not as an anecdote, not as an example, not in conversation with your partner. If you're unsure whether something is shareable, it isn't.

This includes screenshots, forwarded messages, and references to other participants in any outside context.

2. Speak from your own experience

NVC teaches us the difference between observations and evaluations, between what we actually experience and the stories we layer on top. In this community, we practise that distinction.

Speak in the first person. Share what's true for you; what you feel, what you notice, what you need. Avoid speaking for others, making generalisations, or offering interpretations of what someone else's experience means. "I felt angry when..." lands differently than "You were being aggressive." One is honest. The other is a judgement dressed as a fact.

3. Listen before you respond

Mindfulness asks us to be present before we react. In conversation, that means listening to understand, not to fix, advise, or redirect.

When another man shares something difficult, your first instinct may be to help him solve it. Resist that instinct. More often than not, what he needs is to feel heard. Ask a question before you offer an answer. Sit with what he's shared before you respond. Silence, even in a text thread, can be a form of respect.

4. Advice only when asked for

Unsolicited advice, however well-intentioned, often communicates something the giver doesn't mean: I know better than you what you need. In this community, we practise something harder and more respectful; trusting that each man is capable of finding his own way, with support.

If you have something you genuinely think would help, ask first: I have some thoughts and suggestions, let me know if you are open to receiving them. That small step changes the dynamic entirely.

5. Challenge with care, not judgement

Honest challenge is part of this work. Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do for another man is name what you're noticing, gently, directly, with care for his dignity. That is welcome here.

What is not welcome is criticism, sarcasm, dismissiveness, or using another man's vulnerability against him. There is a difference between "I notice you keep coming back to anger, what's underneath that?" and "You always blame your partner." One opens something. The other closes it.

On disagreement

You will not always agree with what other men share here. That's not just acceptable, it's valuable. Different perspectives, different experiences, and honest friction are part of how this work deepens.

When you disagree, lead with curiosity rather than correction. Ask what led him there. Share your own perspective without insisting he adopt it. NVC reminds us that behind every position is a need, and understanding that need is usually more useful than winning the argument.

On difficult moments

There will be moments in this community that are uncomfortable. A man shares something that brings up strong feelings in you. A conversation goes somewhere unexpected. You say something that lands badly, or someone says something that stings.

These moments are not failures of the community, they are the community working. The invitation is to stay present with the discomfort rather than reacting immediately. To name what's happening in you if it's useful to share. And to repair honestly if something goes wrong, rather than retreating into silence.

What isn't welcome here

To be direct: some things are not compatible with this space.

• Personal attacks, insults, or contemptuous language directed at any participant

• Sharing another participant's personal information or disclosures outside the community

• Persistent unsolicited advice or attempts to redirect another man's experience

• Any language or behaviour that demeans, objectifies, or stereotypes people based on gender, race, sexuality, religion, or any other characteristic

• Content that promotes harm to self or others

If you experience any of the above, please contact Barry directly at b arry@mankindrising.com All concerns will be taken seriously and handled with discretion.

A note on mental health

This community is a space for personal growth and honest connection, it is not a crisis support service or a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in distress, please reach out to your GP, a qualified therapist, or one of the following:

• Samaritans — 116 123 (free, 24 hours)

• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) — 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight daily)

• Mind — 0300 123 3393

A final word

Everything in these guidelines flows from one thing: respect. Respect for yourself, for the men beside you, and for the difficulty of the work you've all chosen to do.

You don't have to be perfect here. You don't have to have it figured out. You just have to show up honestly, treat others with care, and be willing to keep learning.

That's enough.

Barry Jones, ManKind Rising